The journey from the airport to the historic old quarter in Hanoi has the potential to be pleasant, if only you could see anything through the smog. The combination of Hanoi’s eight million motorcycles, the humidity and the still air means that even at four in the afternoon you can look straight at the sun without flinching.

And then you hit Hanoi – a writhing tangle of one way roads that are two way, motorcycles carrying fridges, cabinets, entire families and overcharged tourists – and wish that you had have booked accommodation in advance. Oh well, welcome to Vietnam and welcome to the high season. Once we’d checked into our rather luxuroius “mini-hotel” (the places to stay for flashpackers in Asia) we plucked up the courage to brave the roads. Anyone who has been to Hanoi will know what I mean. With only 3 feet of pavement, priority seems to be given to motorcyles and hawkers – Human traffic is expected to take to the road.

Fran and I did not take to Hanoi (did you pick up on that?) and so paid a quick visit to the Lake, the Ho Chi Minh mausoleum and a floating visit to Halong Bay (having been there nine years earlier with Gary, I can confirm that the water is definately not blue anymore…)

From Hanoi we followed the coast south, stopping at Hue – a rather dreary town famous as being the earlier capital of Chinese vietnam if I remember rightly. Oh, and some rather elaborate tombs of earlier kings of the dynastic period which to give them credit, looked spectacular even in the rain.

Next stop was Hoi An – a lovely little riverside town only a few kilometers from the cost. It appears to be home to the country’s tourist tailoring business but neither Fran or I were inclined to purchase. The suit I bought nine years ago at $25 was great, until the moment that the trouser fly\zip broke, in the down position, while I was at work. When someone discreetly informs you that you’re flying low, you then have to discreetly inform them that you know and then explain why, while trying not to bring attention to your pants.

Where were we… after Hoi An, Nha Trang – a seaside resort with no appeal in the rain save a giant buddha who in his enlightenment still smiles in the rain.

From there, aim toward the heavens and go to Dalat – an affluent mountain town with a cooler temperature and considerably less tourists. The locals were happy to welcome you, and the surrounding area made a great motorcycle tour, again despite the rain. The area is the agricultural centre of vietnam (perhaps more vegetables than fruit, which belongs to the Mekong)

Down in the south, a few hours from the Mekong delta is Saigon – a bustling tourist haven and within easy reach of the Cu Chi tunnnels – a tourist destination where you can take a peek into some of the Viet Cong tunnels that they used to resist the Amercian troops in the area. You can also watch some communist propeganda (read made to watch) and you can fire some guns. Come get some.

Saigon’s sights included the rather one sided “War crimes against the vietnamese people” museum and the Reunification Palace. At the time I understood what it was all about but I fail to remember now so you’ll just have to google it if you’re interested. Here, I’ve done it for you. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reunification_Palace

From Saigon, we took a three day tour through the steamy Mekong delta and up the river to the Cambodia border. The many sights that we saw included an orchard (fruity), a river market (floaty), rice paper production (a bit thin on the ground), coconut candy production (sweet), rice wine production (boozy), a bassa farm (fishy) and a Cham muslim village (holy). We also had the opportunity to have a great fish and shrimp BBQ in a riverside town whose name eludes me, and just escaped our fish being live on the skewers like the poor couple next to us who I don’t think were quite ready for it… or at least from the look on her face she wasn’t.

So there you have it folks – it’s cheap (50 cents for a litre of draught beer or a noodle soup), it’s moody and rainy in the North, it’s welcoming and steamy in the South and it’s next to Cambodia which is where we’re going next! See you next time.